A little while ago I mentioned the idea that the Bible might be like chocolate (see Chocolate Bible) . It wasn’t entirely tongue-in-cheek but a way of recognising that the Bible is made up of different kinds of writing and that people may prefer different parts of the Bible even though it all needs to be taken together if we are to make the most of it.

Having described the Bible as a multi-chocolate bar, I decided on having a go at making one. The idea was that I would take some different sorts of chocolate, melt them down one by one, add a few extra bits and pieces and leave the resulting mega bar to set.

Things did not turn out as straightforward as I had hoped.

For a start getting workable Fair Trade white chocolate is nigh on impossible. There is some nice stuff out there and it is rather tasty but I’ve yet to find any that melts well without turning dry and grainy. Even the supermarket stuff I compromised with wasn’t much of an improvement.

A year or so ago we went to “Cadbury World” (about the time the company was being sold to another one) and there I purchased a special chocolate melting machine. It works a treat except that the pan is about the size of a cup and what I planned needed to be a little bit bigger. Despite never being quite sure of the timings, I used a microwave to melt the chocolate with. At least I followed the expert advice of a friend of mine by remembering to put just a table spoon of water in with the chocolate (I’m afraid I hedged my bets and added a knob of butter too). Then I stirred the chocolate and put dollops of it on a piece of non-stick (the stuff I’ve got really is) baking paper. I repeated the process with Fair Trade milk chocolate (less grainy) a mixture of FT milk and plain chocolate (OK) and finally plain FT chocolate (melts rather well). With the plain chocolate I added a few sultanas which had been soaked in vanilla essence and cold tea. Yes, cold tea. It works quite well in plumping up dried fruit like sultanas provided the tea is not too strong and you use just a spoonful or two. When I added the sultanas there was too much liquid mixed in with the chocolate so I left as much of it behind as possible when I spooned out the choc and sultana mix on to the sheet. I then put the rest of the bar of plain chocolate in, melted it with that liquid and added some cerealy bits before adding that to the growing mess that was supposed to resemble a marbled bar of chocolate. In fact it looked more like someone had been fly-tipping  on the kitchen work surface.

I should perhaps explain that the “cerealy bits” are the crumbs you get at the end of a box of cereal which can clog up the bottom of the cereal bowl. As we get to the end of the packet we put those little bits into a separate container to be used as an ingredient in cooking later.

Altogether I used two bars of milk chocolate, one of plain and most of one of white chocolate, also a handful of sultanas and about half a dozen roast hazel nuts pressed into the still soft white chocolate.

The result looks like an awful mess and I’m glad it’s chocolate I’ve been reworking rather than the Bible!

However, the recipe has passed the bowl test. That is to say, licking the spoon and the bowl of the last little bits of chocolate rather suggest that the “Bible chocolate” will taste OK. The bowl will not need much washing up!

Howsoever it turns out, I don’t plan on making our own Easter Eggs. At least we managed to get a “Real Easter Egg” today.

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